The Music Man

Cueball told me TUESDAY that I needed to be able to do 17 push-ups by FRIDAY to get promoted before I left. I had just worked myself up to seven (from zero). I had been feeling pretty good about it until I heard what I had to do. I didn't see how in hell it could happen, but set up an appointment for Friday anyway.

Friday morning my Mom asked me to pick out a movie and I wanted something I wouldn't get sucked into, so I put on The Music Man. Professor Harold Hill was just explaining to the band that they didn't actually need to know HOW to play the musical instruments, they just had to THINK the song they wanted to play and they would be able to play it, when I called Cueball.

"17 aint gonna happen," I told him.
"You just gotta use the power of positive thinking! If you think you can, then you can! I have faith in you!"

After a while you just get tired of arguing with people like that. If ever I can't do anything, it's because I told myself I can't, and not because I actually couldn't. I agree that we're usually capable of more than we can believe, but I mean come ON. When I was a kid I spent two solid months chanting to myself that I could fly but I never was able to. Then I was depressed for a while because I thought it was my own fault, because I didn't believe in it enough.

I could mention religion at this point, but I hate beating dead horses. Anyway, I kept the appointment and managed to pump out nine push-ups, so I didn't get the promotion. I don't really care about that, though. It's not like I'll be spending much of the money I'm earning while I'm at basic.

See you suckas later! For the next couple months, all entries will be typed from letters I've sent to helpers. I've given them access to this blog and if anything wacky happens on here while I'm gone, I'll beat them up when I get out. Cuz I'll be a beefy, trained killer! Hooah!